I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
I don't have an attitude problem...You have a perception problem.
I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
I don't know anything Lord, leave me alone.
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to
I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily.
I don't mind straight people, as long as they act gay in public
I don't need a new religion. I haven't used up the Old one.
I don't question your existence - GOD
I don't repeat gossip, so listen closely the first time.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
I don't think, therefore I am not.
I don't trust President Clinton (or her husband).
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work - I want to
achieve it by not dying.
I don't want to believe; I want to see! -- Carl Sagan
I doubt, therefore I might be.
I drink from Cerridwen's Cauldron
I drive far too fast to worry about cholesterol!
I drive like lightning. I hit trees.
I drive the speed limit. If you don't like it, call a cop!
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I fart to make you smell better.
I feel like a new man. Do you have one I could use?
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
I feel so much better since I lost hope.
I feel so much better since I've given up hope.
I fight poverty, I work
I finally got it all together, but I forgot where I put it
I fish! Therefore, I lie.
I fought the lawn and the lawn won.
I found God in myself, and I loved her, I loved her fiercly.
I found Jesus in my trunk...$5 to see him!
I found Jesus! He was behind the couch the whole time!
I found Jesus! He was hiding behind the couch.
I found Jesus. He was in my trunk when I got back from Tijuana.
I found Jesus... he was behind the coach the whole time.
I found out why those 40 virgins stay virgins. - Mohammed.
I found the Lord, I have Jesus in my trunk...
I gave up drinking, smoking and sex - Worst 15 minutes of my life
I gave you a brain. Use it.-- God
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
I Give Evolution Two Opposeable Thumbs Up.
I go from zero to bitch in 3.5 seconds.
I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.
I got a sweater for Christmas... I wanted a screamer or a moaner.
I got kicked outta Scouts for eating a Brownie.
I got out of bed for this?
I got this motor home for my wife. Best deal I ever made
I got this truck for my wife... Good trade huhh!!!
I had a good wife once. Then she went home to her husband.
I had no idea when I married Mr. Right that his first name would
I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability.
I Hate Bumperstickers
I hate coffee. It keeps me awake at work.
I hate intolerance.
I hate plants.. That's why I became a vegetarian!