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Q: Why are
men so happy?
A: Because ignorance is bliss.
Q: Why are
men with pierced ears are better prepared for marriage?
A: They've
experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Q: Why can't
men get mad cow disease?
A: Because they're all pigs.
Q: Why did
God create a man before a women?
A: You need a rough draft before you have
a final copy.
Q: Why did
God create man before woman?
A: Because you're always supposed to have a
rough draft before creating your masterpiece.
Q: Why did
God create man before woman?
A: He didn't want any advice.
Q: Why did
God create man?
A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Q: Why did
God create men?
A: She forgot to put the legs on snakes.
Q: Why did
God give men larger brains than dogs?
A: So they wouldn't hump women's
legs at cocktail parties.
Q: Why did
God make men before women?
A: You need a rough draft before you have a
final copy.
Q: Why did
the dumb man come home drunk and leave his clothes on the floor?
A: He was
in them.
Q: Why did
the dumb man snort Nutri-sweet?
A: He thought it was diet coke.
Q: Why did
the dumb man want to vote for a female President?
A: Because we'd only
have to pay her half as much.
Q: Why did
the man have an electric lawn mower?
A: So he could find his way back to
the house.
Q: Why did
they always carry a live monkey on Dan Quayle's airplane?
A: In case the
Vice-President needed spare parts.
Q: Why didn't
the husband change the baby for a week?
A: Because the text on the nappies
package said '18-40 lbs'.
Q: Why do
bachelors like smart women?
A: Opposites Attract.
Q: Why do
black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring
before it starts.
Q: Why do
doctors slap babies butts right after they're born?
A: To knock the
penises off the smart ones.
Q: Why do
dumb men bosses have such poor grammar?
A: Because they end every sentence
with a proposition.
Q: Why do
dumb men's hearts make the best transplants?
A: They're never used.
Q: Why do
female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
A: To stop the
snoring before it starts.
Q: Why do
jocks play on artificial turf?
A: To keep them from grazing.
Q: Why do
little boys whine?
A: Because they are practicing to be men.
Q: Why do
male bosses have such poor grammar?
A: Because they end every sentence
with a proposition.
Q: Why do men
act like idiots?
A: Who says they re acting?
Q: Why do men
become smarter during sex?
A: Because they are plugged into a genius.
Q: Why do men
buy electric lawn mowers?
A: So they can find their way back to the house.
Q: Why do men
chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: For the same reason
dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Q: Why do men
come home drunk and leave their clothes on the floor?
A: Because they are
in them.
Q: Why do men
find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Q: Why do men
float better than women?
A: Because they are scum.
Q: Why do men
have a hole in their penis?
A: So oxygen can get to their brains.
Q: Why do men
have a little hole in the end of their penises?
A: To let some air into
their brains
Q: Why do men
have penises?
A: They certainly can't be admired for their brains.
Q: Why do men
like blonde jokes so much?
A: Because they can understand them
Q: Why do men
like love at first sight?
A: It saves them a lot of time.
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